Suicidal season

In 2009 Russia was the country with the highest suicidal rate. Not that that has any reference to what I want to say - it's just one of those useless facts I storage up in my database.
So it's autumn and everything seems to begin fading into the blackness of winter once again. Or so you think! The situation should not be that grey at all. You probably know that feeling when you're in the middle of something and the end is too far away to see. Autumn is a bit like that as well but the beginning is too far to see as well. Lately I have grown to love the term - sweet agony. And it describes so finely what this time of this climate zone of ours is about. We know it's gonna be over soon but is the exact part when is gets most amazing. I guess it's like that with relationships too, or was it with a piece of cake...
I have a re-accuring huge rat in my bath. At the time I learned about my new guest I wan doing my laundry. And you will never in a million gazillion years guess want I found in my underpants - wait for it- A TEA SACK!- Gosh, that is one pervy rat! I hadn't swept for 2 days straight- it's like I'm waiting for the thing to go out of bath after a hot shower and tell me - Hey baby! There is a shovel next to my bed 24 hours a day. I don't like it, I hate it...But the truth is that this makes me feel like a useless woman.
It's as if I can fight to think, act and be all spiritual and anti-materialism type. And when it gets to something as mundane as a rat in the bathroom I realize I can't be non-earthly. Beat that Master Joda!
When there is no sun around you begin thinking all sorts of non-sense. Sunlight provides us with the most vital of all emotions- faith. Maybe that is why so many poets and writers represent autumn so sad. But it's not! We are the ones who make our life miserable - the sun's gonna come out eventually. Pessimism is more likely to stick around.
P.S. I wonder how much more rat poison is that little bastard going to eat, before he gets to that eternal rat heaven ... I called him Barney