Thursday, 2 June 2011

Those infamous pauses that define us...

Well... This is everything I can say. One long-lasting, fun-sucking, buzz-killing pause that makes me feel like the marooned-in-a-parallel-reality hermit. Yet, I am looking at the whole picture from the wrong perspective... That bloody pause again. It's like a perpetual concubine of mine. Hello, I am Kathy! What do you have to say for yourselves? What are you doing, standing there, reading a shamefully egocentric blog of one unrealised hermit?
Today I wanted to write about the morning dew, about how wet my snickers get when I take an early walk to the nearest sports arena. I wanted to share with you how much I love the mornings and how frightened I feel at night. But I won't.
You see, I have a lot of stories to tell but their time is yet to come. I also have these few stories that I meant for to be much different than they turned out. I am fairly certain there is a story of a young woman that wants to adopt a child somewhere in my head. And then there are some bitter remarks regarding the contemporary understanding of common sense and beauty.
What I really meant to share today is my love for writing. It is not even about the state of love itself. You should try it some time. You fingers tip over the keyboard, or skilfully hold a pretty pen, and it feels like they have a life of their own. You can even close your eyes and keep writing, just for the sake of writing. And then, when you feel the moment has passed... There, that good for nothing meaningful pause. Snap! The words are out there. They begin their own existence. They are still you, yet they spread around like lush seeds of your UNSPOKEN.
At this point, change in my character seems inevitable. However, there are those things that (luckily) never change, like perpetual change.
I hope I'll see you someday at the green market. I won't say a thing, and you won't know me but we can write about it afterwards.

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