Inspiration; patience; gratitude;fear; darkness; uncertainty; more fear and then came the rejection. I've always gave a lot of thought to the phrase " a live like a film". Isn't it the other way around? Didn't films began from copying reality? And how did we come to this that only films can give us the kind of emotions we so much yearn for.
I am not going to take the part of the critic of humanity, or reality nonetheless. I have a guilty pleasure of my own when it comes to stealing supposed-to-be-real-life experiences. I read lots of books, way to much for someone who doesn't stop nagging about the lack of a social life. In a twisted, yet romantic kind of way, books have become my social life. Maybe that is why I started writing and love it so much. You can never just get, you have to give. Doesn't matter if no one reads what I write. The simple fact my thoughts go out there in the world makes me feel better, makes me feel a part of something.
My father's guilty pleasure is watching crappy music television. A friend of mine collects backstreet boys stickers, secretly of coarse. And I know this girl that actually adores walking but naked whenever she is home alone. It wasn't long ago that the most popular and innocent guilty pleasure was watching Dawson's creek. And then came the era of teenage drama and it all became soooo conventional. It feels like we all search to find something that will makes up feel guilty yet good that it all seems like a hysteria to me. Do we still have simple pleasures, free of guilt? Are we still capable of enjoying the simple things in life? Or is everything part of the natural evolution of the human consciousness? And maybe the biggest question yet - Will I ever stop asking questions? Don't know, don't care and I actually don't mean to bore you to death.
Rejection, sympathy, loneliness, sweet loneliness, pleasure, buying a one room apartment, getting a cat, more pleasure(?)... And it all comes down to getting home and reading another book.
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