Until then...

Have you ever had a dream, that seems to stretch out into reality? Or wished reality to be just an awful nightmare, so you could wake up sooner?
Sometimes I wish so hard this is all not real and people actually are not so cruel and dishonest. Does that make me naive or does the fact I'm saying it out loud? Truth is I don not like what humans made of from what this world once was. You call it evolution?! I don't even have a name for it...
Often times I write about emotions that had a deep effect on me. And most of the times I choose to write in Bulgarian, so that I could be heard here. Sadly I have begun to loose hope. English should not be scrutinized as a get away for young people, much like myself. It is a choice!
Self preservation is a rather intriguing phenomenon. Humans are able to overlook everything for the sake of their own safety...Everyone! But I'm actually not here to analyse the paths of human behaviour. I am here to seek answers to my own complicated questions. And I'm not myself - so serious and full of doubt. And until I find a safe shelter from the bullets of despondency I intend to stray away from humour. Or is that a mistake, and I should think of everything as one big game of charades?...
I can only guess what some of you are thinking ( nope, not :"Who is this poor girl?", although it is quite possible) :- "She;s just young and doesn't get it?" But that is the point - GET WHAT? When did life become a mystery the key to which is held only by chosen ones( and yes I do refer to religious beliefs and institutions). We... I can, want to unravel that mystery myself. What does that make me - crazy, a non-believer, anarchist...Or does it make me who I am!?